Speed Mtabolism Up

1. Avoiding the discussion of alternative living arrangements for your parents.

Being proactive here is so important. When you have these discussions early and often you can be much less confrontational and it will be so much easier for everyone. Having these conversations earlier rather than later, you are able to approach them in a more relaxed, low-key manner.

If you wait until after Mom has fallen and broken her hip, the pressure is on and the emotions are high. At that point you are pressed for time to find answers quickly.

2. Being in the dark about your parents financial situation.

Know whether or not they have a long term care policy. If so, you should know where it is and make sure it’s easily accessible. Also, take some time to read through it so you know what it does and does not cover.

If your parents do not have long term care in place, do you know what other financial resources are available if needed? Perhaps a visit with an attorney to talk about Medicaid eligibility and spend down rules would be worthwhile. And if one of your parents is a Veteran, see if they are eligible to get coverage for certain services.

3. When your parents’ health starts to fail, thinking that a nursing home is the only option.

There are no shortage of options around these days. If your parent is resolute about staying in their own home, it is very possible to arrange for care there.

There are also ways to be very creative about combining several modalities of care. For instance, a family might have their father go to adult day care several times a week during the day, then have a caregiver stay over nights and family members supplement the other times if needed. The possibilities are endless to customize a plan that is just right for your situation.

4. Trying to find help at the last minute

Nothing is more stressful than trying to formulate a plan of care knowing your Mom is coming home tomorrow from the hospital. There is no way to make good, rational decisions that quickly and under that much duress. You will feel overwhelmed.

You’ll want to do your research as early as possible. Identify some facilities or agencies and contact them. See which ones you get a good vibe from and build a relationship with them. Arrange for you and/or your parent(s) to visit or have someone come to the home for an assessment. By starting the process sooner rather than later, you can call on people who are familiar with your situation if an emergency occurs.

5. Only looking at cost when deciding between care options.

This can be a tricky one. If you are looking at nursing homes, understand that there are very expensive ones that have poor track records when it comes to care. Fancy brochures, videos or tours don’t count for much. Try your best to talk with residents and their loved ones to get a better feeling about the quality of care the nursing home offers.

As for home care, be very careful about choosing the “cheapest” hourly rate. Remember that good caregivers demand to be paid more. Good homecare agencies cannot offer the best caregivers AND be the cheapest. Also ask to meet and approve of any caregiver before they start care.

Theanna Zika started Saint Louis home care company, Heavenly Helpers, in 2004. She shares tips, strategies and advice about caring for seniors that she has learned over the years on the blog at her company’s website. The site also features a helpful list of Saint Louis senior resources for seniors and their families in the Saint Louis Metro area.